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Feeling or knowing that your girlfriend no longer loves you can be a heartbreaking and frustrating experience. Fortunately, while you tin can't really command or change how your girlfriend feels about y'all, there are things y'all can do to help salvage the relationship. Communicate honestly with your girlfriend about where you stand and what you can both practice to improve things. Try to rekindle your former feelings for each other with compassion, intimacy, and romantic gestures. If you don't feel like yous can meliorate the situation on your own, look into couples counseling or private therapy.

  1. ane

    Communicate with your girlfriend about what went wrong. If you want to repair your relationship with your girlfriend, yous volition need to find out why she feels the way she does. Enquire her if she tin sit downwards with you and accept a heart-to-centre conversation about how she is feeling and what you can both practise to make information technology improve.

    • If you and your girlfriend have been fighting, expect until you've both calmed down before having a discussion. Trying to talk while both of you lot are upset may lead to more fighting and resentment.[1]
    • Y'all might outset past telling her how y'all feel, and then inviting her to give yous her perspective. Use "I" language to express your feelings. For example, "I feel unloved lately, and I'one thousand afraid we might exist drifting apart. How are you feeling about things between u.s.?"
    • Do your best to stay calm and ceremonious, and listen actively to what she has to say.

  2. 2

    Avert blaming your girlfriend for issues in the relationship. When things are going wrong, it's easy to start pointing fingers. Instead of blaming her for any problems between you, listen to what she has to say with an open heed. Once you let her accept her say, you lot may realize that yous've been misinterpreting her words and actions.[ii]

    • Fifty-fifty if your girlfriend is at to the lowest degree partly responsible for things going sour between yous, blaming her will only put her on the defensive and create a deeper wedge between y'all.
    • Putting all the blame on her also takes away your own agency in the relationship and makes it harder for you lot to focus on making things improve.[3]

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  3. three

    Have responsibility and repent for your own mistakes. Calmly acknowledge your mistakes to your girlfriend and repent without making excuses or trying to justify yourself. Call back that taking responsibleness doesn't mean blaming yourself for everything that goes incorrect. It just means reflecting on your own deportment and recognizing that you lot there are things you lot may have washed that contributed to the rift between the 2 of yous.[4]

    • For case, you lot might say, "Yous're right, I haven't been as attentive to yous lately as I should take been. I let myself get likewise caught up in my own projects and didn't really remember near your needs. I'm pitiful, and I'll make an endeavour to do better from at present on."
    • Avoid apologizing in a way that puts the blame on your girlfriend or excuses your actions. For case, don't say something like, "I'grand sad, but yous shouldn't have frustrated me like that."

  4. 4

    Validate her feelings . Listening to what your girlfriend has to say about what she's feeling may be difficult, but it's really a skillful thing if she's willing to open up to you. Let her know that you lot recognize what she's feeling and respect her right to feel that way. That will become a long way toward showing her that yous really care nigh her and the relationship.

    • Attempt showing that y'all sympathise what she feels by "reflecting" her feelings dorsum in your ain words.
    • For instance, if she complains that you lot spend likewise much time watching Tv set instead of having quality time with her, say something similar, "It sounds like you experience solitary and frustrated when I watch Telly in the evenings instead of sitting down to conversation with you over dinner."[5]

  5. 5

    Work together to come up up with solutions. Once you lot've pinpointed the primary bug that are driving a wedge betwixt you and your girlfriend, ask her if she'd exist willing to sit down with you lot and talk nearly what you lot can both do to make things ameliorate. You can offer your own ideas, but be sure to enquire for her input and listen carefully to what she has to say.

    • For example, if she's frustrated considering she feels like she's doing too much piece of work in the relationship, talk well-nigh means to divide your responsibilities more than evenly. You could offer to take turns cooking or washing the dishes, for example.

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    Make a commitment to change and stay consistent. Acknowledging the areas where you need to ameliorate and promising to work on them will not be enough. You need to show your girlfriend through your deportment that you are truly ready to make a modify. Make specific promises and follow through on them.

    • For example, maybe your girlfriend has trouble trusting you because you lot've been unreliable in the past. Make a signal of establishing consistent behavior patterns going forward—e.yard., if you say you are going to be domicile at a certain time, brand certain y'all are there!
    • If y'all practise slip upwards, own upwards to it and repent immediately.

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    Respect her need for infinite. If things are actually bad betwixt you and your girlfriend, she may not even be willing to have a discussion correct at present. If she doesn't want to talk, don't endeavor to force it—she will just end upward feeling smothered and resentful. Instead, reach out and let her know you are willing to talk whenever she'due south ready, then back off and exit her alone.[6]

    • You lot might say something like, "I understand that you don't feel similar talking about things right now. I just wanted to permit you know that I dear yous and really desire us to make this work if nosotros can. I'll be here if you want to talk."

  8. eight

    Have that you may not be able to save the relationship. Remember that y'all can't actually control what your girlfriend does or how she feels about you. All y'all can exercise is let her know how you experience and practice your best to testify her that you're willing to piece of work on making things meliorate.[seven]

    • If your girlfriend does break up with you lot, respect her decision. Lashing out at her or pursuing her when she'due south asked you to leave her alone will not make her more inclined to requite things some other gamble.

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  1. 1

    Ask your girlfriend how you lot can help her feel loved. If your girlfriend is cooling off on you, it may exist because she'southward feeling unloved herself. Communicate with her openly and ask her what you can do to show affection in a way that she will appreciate.[viii]

    • Every adult female is an individual, then don't presume you lot know what your girlfriend wants or needs. She might want more physical affection, or she may wish you'd spend more fourth dimension discussing her favorite books with her. You lot won't know until you ask!

  2. 2

    Offer her sincere compliments every day. Everyone wants to feel appreciated, loved, and desired in a relationship. One fashion to rekindle your girlfriend'due south interest in your relationship is to remind her of all the things you lot love about her.[nine]

    • Make sure non to just focus on superficial things, like her appearance. Your girlfriend probably appreciates hearing that you recall she's cute, but recall to annotate on who she is as a person, likewise.
    • You could compliment her on things like her personality, her accomplishments, or fifty-fifty memories of your time together and what they mean to you.

  3. 3

    Brand romantic gestures (and not only on Valentine's 24-hour interval). Retrieve nearly the kinds of things you lot and your girlfriend did together in the early days of your relationship, when things were exciting and fresh. Doing these things once more tin can aid bring back old feelings and show that you are still interested in making the relationship fun and joyful.[10]

    • For instance, y'all might try surprising your girlfriend with a souvenir or taking her dorsum to the same place where you lot had your first engagement.
    • More practical gestures can be romantic, too—for case, you could surprise her by cooking her favorite dinner or offering to give her a massage after a long solar day at work.

  4. 4

    Be intimate without expecting sex activity . If you want sex all the time, your girlfriend might start feeling similar intimacy is a chore. Give her some space, simply don't concur back from offering other gestures of affection, like hugging, cuddling, kissing, or holding easily. You may notice that she becomes more than interested in sex one time y'all stop trying to initiate it as often.[11]

    • You may likewise find it helpful to have an open and honest talk with your girlfriend almost what both of yous expect from your sex life. Finding out what she likes and doesn't similar tin can better your intimate moments and help you connect on a deeper level.

  5. 5

    Show a genuine interest in things she cares most. Accept time to really get to know your girlfriend and get familiar with her values and interests. She'll feel a stronger and deeper connection with y'all if you lot're able to show that you are interested in who she is as a person.

    • For instance, you might ask your girlfriend questions about the things she's interested in. Watch movies or read books with her so that you tin can hash out them together.
    • If she has any favorite hobbies, consider trying them out together.
    • Fifty-fifty if y'all don't find all of her interests that heady, you tin can evidence her that yous value her by making time to listen when she wants to talk about the things she loves.

  6. 6

    Allow yourself to be vulnerable with her. Open upwards to your girlfriend about your thoughts and feelings. If y'all're non used to being vulnerable, this can feel scary or uncomfortable at kickoff. Yet, doing so will help create a more meaningful connection between the 2 of you and will show your girlfriend that y'all trust her and experience at ease with her.[12]

    • Being open and vulnerable tin as well help you become your needs met, considering your girlfriend volition accept an easier time understanding and empathizing with y'all.

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  1. 1

    Ask your girlfriend to attend couples counseling with yous. If your relationship is actually strained or stagnant and you aren't making much headway on your own, talk to your girlfriend well-nigh counseling. An experienced counselor tin help you brand sense of what's going wrong in your human relationship and work with both of y'all to develop strategies for improving things.

    • Going to couples counseling is too a good mode to evidence your girlfriend that yous are serious about making the relationship piece of work.
    • Do an online search or ask your doctor to recommend adept couples counselors in your surface area.
    • If physical intimacy is a big trouble in your relationship, you might benefit from seeing a sex activity therapist.

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    Go to counseling on your own if she won't go with you. If your girlfriend is unwilling to become to counseling with y'all, don't endeavour to force the consequence. Yous may still notice that yous can benefit from seeing a therapist on your own, however. They tin give you lot advice on how to approach your relationship in a healthier way or—if necessary—to move on.

    • Look for a therapist who has experience helping people with relationship issues. Y'all might run across a clinical psychologist, a matrimony and family therapist, or a licensed clinical social worker.

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    Look into relationship support groups in your expanse. Support groups can be keen tools for helping you work through your relationship challenges. Enquire your md or therapist to recommend a back up group for relationship problems in your surface area, or do an online search for couples support groups about you.

    • Back up groups tin be led by professional counselors or completely peer-based.
    • Beingness with other couples facing similar challenges can help you gain insight into your ain situation. A group can likewise be a safe and supportive space for you and your girlfriend to piece of work through your bug together.

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Add New Question

  • Question

    Tin can a girl autumn dorsum in dear with you while you're dating?

    Joshua Pompey

    Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating world. Joshua has run his own relationship consulting business concern since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Skillful Morn America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the earth.

    Joshua Pompey

    Human relationship Expert

    Expert Answer

    Support wikiHow past unlocking this skilful answer.

    Admittedly. Even so, if you lot're in a human relationship and their feelings are fluctuating dramatically from day to solar day, information technology's really not a good sign. Yous may feel like a 10 one twenty-four hour period, and a 9 the adjacent twenty-four hours, but it should be moderately consistent.

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  • If you think your girlfriend is abusive or that your relationship has become toxic, it's important to go out the human relationship for your own health and safety. Don't try to stay with anyone who regularly manipulates you, insults or belittles you, attempts to control you, threatens you, violates your boundaries, or physically hurts you.

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